Best. Book. Ever.

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So I have depression. It wasn't diagnosed until college, though it was definitely rearing its ugly head during my last two years of high school. I cried all the time. Let me repeat that... All The Time. My poor friends -- they really were saints for sticking by me. I mean, once I had a meltdown because I couldn't decide if I wanted to stay overnight at my best friend's house or if I wanted my Dad to give me a ride home! I was a basket-case!

Anyway, my close friend and roommate at the time talked me into seeing an on-campus counselor about four years ago. I was skeptical, to say the least. I did NOT want to admit I was dealing with depression. Looking back now, I can't imagine how I was in such denial! The psychologist literally had to pull out a list of the symptoms and point out that I was suffering from eight out of nine of them... to give a proper diagnosis I only needed to be struggling with five! Finally, it all made sense... the counselor was right. I had depression. It was kind of a relief, actually.

Promptly after my first counseling session, the campus psychiatrist prescribed for me Celexa. I took the pill each day, not sure exactly what to hope for, and went on with life as usual. Then, about three weeks later, it just suddenly dawned on me: I hadn't cried in FOUR WHOLE DAYS! That was like an eternity! I was amazed! I felt NORMAL!

Luckily, the medication continually worked well for me. I still had a propensity towards anxiety, but it was much more manageable than before. And the crying was practically nonexistent. However, I always carried with me the secret hope that after college I would get myself off the antidepressants. Just because.

And now, 18 months after graduation, I am finally making the leap... I am living Drug Free! I took my last Celexa on December 3rd, 2009. I've been keeping my doctor in the loop, and she thinks that I should make a go of it. After all, I can always start up the antidepressants again if need be (I must admit, this is a comforting thought).

So far, my Celexa-Free Experiment has produced mostly positive results. I'm not saying it's been easy: I have definitely noticed an overall drop in mood and an increased anxiety level. But aside from a few minor hiccups, I haven't been experiencing the crying jags or the overwhelming sadness that plagued me when I was first diagnosed with depression several years ago. So I see this slight down-turn as a relative success... or at least a good starting point.

I think what has made this past month tolerable is that I determined to learn from this experience -- to learn about myself, about depression, and about how to live in the way that is healthiest for me. I am also determined to move forward. My "best" now doesn't have to be my best when I am done with this 180-Day Challenge, or even a week from now. There is room for improvement everywhere!

And, thanks to a very dear friend, I now am armed with one of the most amazing books I have ever read! It's called "The Chemistry of Joy: A Three-Step Program for Overcoming Depression Through Western Science and Eastern Wisdom". The author of this wonderful book is Dr. Henry Emmons, Consulting Psychiatrist at Allina Medical Clinic in Northfield, Minnesota. I would seriously recommend his book to anyone who has ever suffered from depression or even just a sense of dis-ease. It is so broad and yet so thorough, so scientific and yet so readable! And it is EXTREMELY practical! I am a little over 1/3 of the way done with it, and I just got it yesterday! I can't stop reading it -- except to write about it!

I won't go into too much detail here (Hint: Read It For Yourself), but the author outlines a holistic approach to dealing with the three different types of depression. Yeah, you heard me, there are [at least] three! Who knew? Not I! Anyway, he discusses the whole gamut of treatment options available -- medications, food choices, vitamin supplements, exercise regimens, and even meditation techniques -- which all can help to balance out your unique brain chemistry!

The best thing about "The Chemistry of Joy" is that it reads more like a handbook than a textbook. Instead of writing, "Studies have shown that certain vitamins may help to alleviate symptoms of depression," Emmons actually provides his readers with a detailed list of these specific vitamins and the doses he normally recommends to his patients! It is SO MUCH MORE than theoretical! I love it!

Anyway, I am very much inspired by this book. "The Chemistry of Joy" really drives home the point that our bodies (and minds!) desperately need us to start eating better and exercising regularly. I mean, it is entirely possible that I could overcome my depression if I just focused on these two lifestyle changes! How cool is that?!? So, as of today, the maintenance of a "brain-healthy" diet and an exercise routine are officially key components of the 180-Day Turnaround. I am pumped!

OK, so I really need to be getting to bed. But I am feeling quite empowered! Moral of this story? Go to your nearest library and check out THE CHEMISTRY OF JOY!!! You won't regret it!

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